Bat shit crazy

This is the only way to describe my neighbor Ms. Lee. Don't get me wrong. She is a very sweet lady, but not only is she from Crazy Town, I am pretty sure she may be the mayor. Zig was busy working in our front yard this evening, so Em and I decided we could use some fresh air and decided to join him. Our neighbors Nadia and Hind were also out side working in the yard so we were all chatting it up. Well Ms. Lee gets home and being the nosey old lady she is, she comes over to see what we are up to. Oddly enough, she had never seen Emily so she came up and started talking to us. Now here is the thing about Ms. Lee. She is straight up from Taiwan and her English is not good. I maybe understood 5 words she was saying. Here is the beginning of our conversation, as I could understand it.

Ms. L: How old is baby? Wait let me guess. 3 months
Me: Wow you were close! ::snicker:: She is actually almost 5 months.
Ms.L: Ahh Hind! I guessed how old she is! I told her ::pointing at me:: I would guess and I did. Baby 3 months.
::crickets::

Anyway, Ms. Lee goes on to tell me that her son and daughter dropped off some stuff that they had for their baby, but moved away, so it is still in her garage. She convinces me to come over and look to see if we could use any of it. I decide to humor her and go over. Well she actually had something I wanted. Daycare and my friend Jess have this little rocker/bouncer chair. It is like a mini rocking chair. Anyway, I have been wanting one to take to Mom and Roberts so Em and Olivia could use it, but didn't want to pay a lot for it because baby crap is expensive y'all. So I ask Ms. Lee how much. She tells me that she didn't want to give me a price and since we were neighbors, just make her an offer. This story should truly end here. I should have made the old lady an offer and moved on with my life. In all honestly, I had no clue what to offer her, so I call Zig over. He again asks her how much and she says the same thing, make an offer. He says he has no clue what to give and if I could have predicted the future, I would have said she would tell us not to worry about it, that it was just sitting in her garage anyway. (I didn't expect her to give it away, this was just the way the conversation was heading) We go back and forth and it is starting to lead to my prediction and then it happens. I say it..."Let us do something for you Ms. Lee to thank you. Is there anything you need help with?" F.M.L (for those who don't know what this means it translates to "profanity starting with the letter F, My, Life) as in SHIT! Out of the corner of my eye, I see Zig doing the silent NOOOOOO!!!! but it was to late. The damage was done. Ms. Lee says, "yes that is what we will do, you can help me. " I prepare my self for the worst. She starts talking about her sprinkler and then begins to tell us that she is going out of town and maybe we can keep an eye on her flowers. I think Ok, this is not that bad. I can do this. Then Zig asks the dreaded question. "Sure Ms. Lee, how long are you going to be gone for?" wait for it, wait for it. "ONE MONTH" WTF!!!! A month. She's joking right! A month. I have now volunteered for my husband, OK for ME, to water this lady's plants for a month. Now I am thinking, this better be some good shit she has here, because I can't even water my own plants! To top it off, Ms. Lee's plants are dead. I mean dead. But now we feel like we have to some how revive them so she can't say we killed them, because people, the lady is bat shit crazy! I feel awful. I have got to stop doing that, volunteering Zig to do things. I am sure he hates it, but in the end, I just feel like, if this was my grandma, I would want someone to do the same for her. At least that is what I am telling myself so I can sleep tonight. I LOVE YOU HONEY and I AM SO SO SORRY!